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Can you “sit still” or do you need to “fill up your eyes” ?

Sit Still Or Fill Up Your Eyes

I’ve been doing personal development work the last 10 days or so, working on some of my “money stuff”, generally working on discovering and clearing my money blocks, creating an abundance mindset and specifically around making crucial mindset shifts for making passive income (Disclosure: Affiliate links) because hey, I want to create content and courses that improve the world, be a successful female entrepreneur role model for the next generation and gain clarity in my own world so I can help you to connect your dots and improve your life!

I love Denise Duffield-Thomas, she is just so down to earth, practical and totally speaks to the way I think about life. (NB: This is so important. You must resonate on a positive and human level with the people you work with and listen to in life. A good coach will turn you away if she feels that you will not work well together. Stress and combat over “personality-issues” do not make for successful self-improvement!)

Some of the work I’ve been doing has been all about my “sitting still”; being in the moment, breathing, focusing and listening to various messages. This made me think about how we “fill up our eyes” these days – using our Smartphones (Which are actually the ultimate personal computer) and tablets to “just check in”, “play a game” or various other activities that really just waste time and aren’t really engaging with the world or ourselves.

I remember when I was a kid, technology was really just breaking into the home environment, the mobile was a good 15 years away. So, as well as watching telly, I read books, played out, built things, made cakes, talked to my friends for hours on the phone. I could also “sit still”, because I didn’t feel the need for the “need to be doing” i.e. 100% engagement/stimulation, at all time. I look at my behaviours now, and the behaviours of my friends children, and we are all attached to our technology! We are “filling up our eyes” with minutae, most of which we don’t actually need to know, and some of which (especially for children) isn’t actively developing cognitive connections.

I’ve not denying that our level of tech. can be very useful; it is definitely life improving, and provides valuable learning and problem solving tools, but I’ve actively had to remember how to reach stillness again, remind myself that I can “just sit”, that I have no need to get agitated if my phone is not in my hand if there is nothing else going on, that it doesn’t matter if I’m not checking FaceBook or Twitter (the information I really need will find me) and to sit, breathe and also engage to absorb knowledge when I’ve been actively learning new stuff.

I feel that losing this stillness is a big issue. Having stillness in life allows for “reset” time, for me, this is the time where I engage with my orchids, dye my yarn, or just sit for 15 minutes on a sunny day enjoying the sun on my face! I also have concern for the kids who have not actually learned about this stillness in the first place.  Yes, we all know that kids run around and pretty much never sit still, but when they do sit down, I see the automatically reaching for a device as potentially not the best idea for them…

So, can you sit still? Summer’s the perfect time to start to regain this vital skill. This week, I want you all to get out from behind your desk at lunch, go sit in the sun (Or, if you are like me, “sun-adjacent” i.e. in the shade!) and just be in the world for 15 minutes. Enjoy the sun, listen to the world around you, breathe and don’t touch your tech. during that time. Note how it makes you feel. Are you calm and enjoying the time, or agitated that you are taking time out and can’t “fill up your eyes”. Afterwards, are you feeling energised and ready to get back to your day with renewed vigour (hint: this is the desired outcome! 😉 ), or did you just feel a bit silly and fidgety, or that it was a waste of time. Leave me a comment below, and we can work on finding the moment and connecting those dots.

Catch you next time!

Credit for Sitting Still half of image used What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to sit and stare…. by Nagesh Jayaraman
Used Under Creative commons licence: Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

Basic orchid care pointers

Ann's Orchid in need of repotting

I love my orchids. I love the colours of their blossoms, the way a fresh flower looks like it’s covered in glitter. I feel happy when their leaves are rigid and shiny, and I love the stillness that my 10 minutes of orchid checking gives me everyday.

A while back, my friend Ann got given an orchid as a house warming present. She was rather scared that she was just going to kill it off, like she had with previous orchids, so she asked me for some pointers.

Most people buy (or are given) Phalaenopsis orchids as the most common ones in the shops. Their blooms are beautiful and, despite the myths to the contrary, are the easiest of all the Orchidaceae genera to care for.

The most common reason why people “fail at orchids” is that they treat them like a normal house plant: park them on a sunny windowsill, water them every couple of days “so they don’t dry out” and often leave them in the puddle of standing water that collects in the base of the pretty ceramic pot they come in.

However, this is exactly the opposite of what they need. They need minimal fussing, dappled sunlight and only a sparing amount of water. This is because they naturally grow attached to the bark of trees in the canopy of the Rain Forests, where life is generally humid but not very out-and-out wet.

Importantly, as well as water, their roots also need both light and air, as Phalaenopsis’ photosynthesise with both leaves and roots. Orchids ship in clear pots for this reason. (Although, some companies pack their orchids with moss into a rubbish flexible PVC pot – these orchids will need re-potting as soon as they finish flowering, as the moss will be stopping air getting to the roots).

Because the roots need air, any standing water can very quickly cause root rot.

The plant usually remains in bloom for ~3 months, the flowers die off then fall off one by one. This is totally normal and not a sign that the plant is dying at all. Also, the very bottom leaf turning yellow and detaching on occasion is also totally normal, this is simply natural wastage, usually in response to humidity levels.

So, this translates at home to:

  1. Usual household temperatures, anything from 16°-28° is generally good. The occasional overnight drop down to ~10° will cause new flower spikes, but consistent cold is bad.
  2. Either a north facing windowsill, or a windowsill that generally doesn’t get more than 2 hours of direct sunlight per day.
  3. A “Drench watering” every other week (or weekly if it’s very warm) – Hold the pot under a running tap – tepid water, not cold –  for a minute or so, also running the water over any aerial roots, then leave to drain totally. Ensure that minimal water remains in the pot, do this by tipping the pot at an angle, this will drain the water that has collected at the bottom of the pot.
    Getting water on the leaves isn’t an issue, but ensure that you don’t get water in the crown. If you do, remove the puddle immediately with the corner of a paper towel. Crown rot will happen if you leave the puddle in there.
  4. Not moving them around too much – picking them up and plonking them down too often “just to peek at them” is bad. Visual inspection and touching the leaves to check rigidity is good, but you only really want to move them around to water them as above.
  5. If you notice the bark drying out quickly, or your house is not very humid then mist them every other day as well.  Leaving them above the water line on a water filled pebble tray is also good.
  6. On visual inspection, you are checking that the bark is not totally dried out (generally, condensation on the inside of the pot should be visible right up until the day before drench watering) and the leaves are rigid –  if the leaves are floppy, the plant is dehydrated – Either mist the plant and the bark heavily, or consider a drench watering. If they are wrinkled, and water is being supplied on a regular basis then the roots are not supplying the leaves with water for some reason. That’s the subject of another article!
  7. Talking to your plants when you inspect them is totally allowed, even encouraged! Giving living things your total focus give you happiness and keeps you in the now. There is also documented science that plants that are spoken to nicely grow better. 🙂

There are “advanced class pointers” around feeding, re-potting and how to spot issues, which I’ll be writing on in coming weeks,  but using these basic tips will keep your orchid thriving and blooming for many years to come. Following these pointers, Ann’s orchid is very happy, and has thrown both a new leaf and a new flower spike!

Have I inspired you to get an orchid, or to start growing things on your windowsill? I do hope so. Leave me a comment below, and we can start connecting those dots.

Catch you next week!

Be Selfish – It’s a vital part of Mindfulness

being-selfish-word-cloud

It’s almost swearing isn’t it, making that “I’m being selfish” statement, and it’s used as an insult, “You’re so selfish!”

However, being selfish is quite probably the number one factor in personal health and well-being.

I’m not talking about the type of being selfish where you detriment others, take the last biscuit or don’t stop to give someone a hand if they need it, I’m talking about the kind of selfish that is centred on self-care.

  • Being selfish enough to stay home when you are sick and not “just struggle on” because it is expected.
  • e.g. Flexible working here is so good – When the brain is active enough, but you feel wiped out and can’t face the commute, a day or two of Working from home may well be the recharge you need!
  • Being selfish enough to look after your own needs so that you then have the energy and capacity to take care of your loved one’s needs.
  • e.g. Booking a babysitter for an hour or to and then taking that time to get out of the house, relax and recharge – Read a book, go to the gym, get a manicure or a haircut.
  • Being selfish enough to take the time out to create art, to look after plants or to make a good nutritional choice.
  • e.g. find that moment of stillness within that allows you to paint, write, draw, cook, dye, knit, do origami. Have the moment to find and follow the inspiration that comes as you cook a good but simple dinner. Enjoy focusing on how your orchids are growing, taking that ten minutes a day to check them over for damage or rot,  and to talk to them about how beautiful they are, how well they are growing and what beauty they add into your life.

Women in particular are really bad at this style of selfishness, I know I’ve done it more times that I care to think of, caring for my loved ones to the point of my own exhaustion. However, taking that time out to self-care, to “be selfish” can carry with it massive amounts of  guilt.

We have to learn to let this guilt go, as being selfish gives us the focus and clarity to be our best, to show up in each moment with calmness, kindness and compassion. It sends a message to your limbic brain that you are ready for “good things” and promotes focus to serve the world with our own superpower (we all have one!).

After all, as the saying goes: “Put on your own oxygen mask before you help others.” If you are constantly leaving your own “oxygen mask” to one side, starving yourself and your soul of love and care, you will simply not have the resources to live life to its full potential.

After all if you don’t look after yourself, you won’t be able to love and serve others in the world. So, how can you be more selfish in your life? Think of three ways that you can be more selfish, leave me a comment below and we can start working toward connecting those dots.

Catch you next week!

Mindfulness – some thoughts

Zen - by Steve Hodgson

One of my day-job colleagues that knows I hold a generally “mindful” philosophy asked:

“Can mindfulness be used as a technique that can support people who might feel they are lacking morale as they go through change? Just have a team that are struggling. Lots will leave. They’re on a low ebb.”

This is my reply:
“Mindfulness is about self change and self acceptance. Showing up fully in the moment & being, kind, curious, compassionate and the best you can be in that moment. Also, knowing the universe will look after you and also, more importantly, give you what you are thinking…

So, yes, if someone is willing to make a step toward mindfulness it will help them, but the person has to be willing and open to the idea.

In our deeply scientific world, it can be dismissed as “a bunch of woo-woo” – “people” live inside their own box, don’t believe in “magic” and stick to their own personal negative scripts – constant worry about the future, never enough time, not enough money, etc etc…

People shy away from self-analysis and keep blinkers on their minds because to analyse “self” can be painful, we are very much taught to “accept our lot” and “trudge on” / “make the best of it”

However, “words shape our world” – Mindset change to “positive language internal monologue” and fully engaging in the current activity really does bring good things. (This is to do with the way the Limbic brain (which has no language or communication skills beyond “feels”) and the Rational/Analytical brain interact)

It’s work to change the way one thinks, thinking is deeply programmed from when we learn to talk pretty much… but it’s very rewarding when one does. If nothing else, being positive towards the world makes one happier for sure!”

I like dropping pebbles in the pond of the Universe, creating ripples is good thing. 🙂 Has this post created ripples of thought for you? Leave me a comment below and we can start working toward connecting those dots.

Catch you next week!

Image https://www.flickr.com/photos/craiglea/4806744754 – Zen by Steve Hodgson
Used Under Creative Commons Licence: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/