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Category: Mindfulness

Meditation: How to incorporate some into daily life

city meditation time

Meditation offers an option to the many people that are looking for ways to deal with mounting stress that characterises modern living. Because of overwork and the demands of a fast-paced lifestyle, millions of people are now suffering from the deleterious effects of stress. Millions are unaware that they may already be reaching the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Medical management of disorders such as anxiety and depression via purely pill-based routes. Adjusting brain chemistry is vital in the short term, as it brings much needed relief and help to a patient. However, a pill only route doesn’t  address underlying issues and patterns around what could have initially caused the problem.

The answer of “take a pill” for all our health issues. The entries in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) grow year on year, due to sub dividing previously listed disorders.

This is often attributed to the changing world in which we live in.  Some experts would recommend drugs that would lessen the symptoms and leave it at that.

Many people are being diagnosed with stress, and they don’t want that to turn into anxiety and depression. They realise that they need help and are keen on finding alternative methods of dealing with day-to-day stresses that does not involve taking medication. Fortunately, for them meditation offers an effective approach to help them gain a new and better outlook.

Meditation has a history spanning millennia

Numerous meditation techniques have spread to millions of folks worldwide. The practice of meditation has moved away from monasteries of all religious persuasions and entered into the secular world. This has increased the numbers of those practising exponentially,  particularly using the techniques embraced by Western cultures.

Today, millions of people around the world are engaging in daily meditation or undergoing training for a particular discipline and all of them are benefiting from this ancient practice. Some of them have also used meditation as a cure for some of the mental issues mentioned above.

Modern meditation practices are based on the traditions of two major religions; Hinduism and Buddhism. Ancient Eastern cultures were the originators of the tenets that directly influenced the current flow and structure of the many different meditation techniques known to modern societies.

Hindu texts and cave drawings dated around 3000 BC discovered in the Indus Valley in the early part of the last century show that man has been seeking stillness and enlightenment from the chaos of his own mind even when life was much simpler!

Meditation practices and their benefits

Once you make the decision to incorporate meditation into your daily routine, you are making the first step towards peace of mind and happiness. As well as leaving behind frustration, anger, and impatience.

Negative emotions such as these pile up, leading eventually to health issues, not only mentally but also physically. It can also lead to a sense of “wanting something” where spirituality is concerned.

Meditation is a great help to the “busybody” mind archetype – people who are always in a hurry to get things done and feel they have too much to do and never enough time – as it helps develop a mind that is balanced, calm, and quiet and able to function more efficiently and reasonably. It can help them understand that their perception that there is not enough time to finish everything is self inflicted.

Meditating gives us a unique glimpse at the workings of our mind. It shows us how we form our thoughts which in turn informs our behaviours. Meditation allows us to observe our thought in a detached manner, It also develops “focused attention.”  This makes it easy to discover how our negative and disturbing thoughts develop. Once understood, we can then begin to change and adapt our thoughts. Then, our behaviours also change for the better.

Having focused attention in day-to-day life brings many positive. It allows the mind to slow, think more efficiently and ultimately be freed from worry and distractions.

Your next step

To bring this all together and  help you to learn to meditate, I’ve created an 8 day mediation eCourse. I’ve also included a bonus 8 minutes meditation audio. I’ve designed them specifically to assist you to incorporate meditative practice into your daily routine.

This eCourse  is my free gift to you when you join my mailing list.  I’m positive that it will change your life, and changing lives is my mission in this world.  After all, meditation is not difficult at all. Its effects are well worth the 10 to 15 minutes of your day that a simple practice takes.

Are you ready to uplevel your mindset with mediation? Sign up to my mailing list using the form below, and we can start connecting those dots.

Catch you next time!

I had a brainstorm. I’ve changed URL as well!

Technological Brainstorm

You might be wondering what this new website address is all about! I had a brainstorm, and below I’m sharing what I wrote about it over at http://nikolahoward.com/blog/brainstorm/


I had a business mentoring session with Ross MacKenzie last week. It turned into a massive brainstorm of new ideas. And it is no understatement to say that it was a transformative two hours.

What did I learn?

I’d been keeping my “day-job in IT” to one side whilst I worked on mindset and nutrition change. This has been giving me an incongruency, as I’m as passionate about women in STEM as I am about mindset and nutrition change!

Because I was so in the middle of it, I didn’t connect my own dots. My mentor immediately pointed out that as well as people that need help with the technical side of setting up a new online business, there are young women that need inspiration to get into STEM. Women already in STEM that need mindset help, nutrition change and leadership guidance. Dieters that love gadgets and technology that help them with their journeys.

He showed me that there was actually a very natural overlap between all my passions.

What happens now then?

So, I’m shifting the content of http://nikolahoward.com  into being technology focused. The content will also cross over between my other passions. The brainstorm demands nothing less!

I’ve moved the mindset focused content over to this new website: http:/mindsetmaven.co.uk.

I’m happy that I’ve made these shifts, even though it’s work, they feel right. I’m definitely feeling far more congruent and focused. I don’t have to suppress or hide what is a large part of my knowledge and experience anymore, which fills me with joy.

I’m looking forward to the next steps in my journey and working with you!

“Breakthrough Success Summit” – February 25th and 26th

Ed JC Smith

My mentor Ed JC Smith, who is an expert on psychology, business, relationships and health and is currently is working on his PhD in Human Potential is running another Breakthrough Success Summit this weekend (February 25th and 26th), so I thought that I’d write a blog about it today!

I know that you are here, reading this, because in some way, you want to improve yourself. I totally appreciate that attending live events may not by your thing, however, the path to change is action.

The event investment is £97 but Ed’s given me 2 free tickets again, so I thought you might like one.
I know when I attended, it expanded my mind no end and changed my life.

If you would like one of the free tickets I have, click the button to fill in the form and we can start connecting those dots!

Yes, I want to come to Breakthrough!

“Breakthrough Success Summit” – January 21st and 22nd

Ed JC Smith

As you know, recently I qualified as a coach and NLP practitioner on a course run by my now friend and mentor Ed JC Smith, who is an expert on psychology, business, relationships and health and is currently is working on his PhD in Human Potential.

He runs a 2 day event – the Breakthrough Success Summit – for which tickets are £97. The next one is January 21st and 22nd, so I thought that I’d write a blog about it today.

I know that you are here, reading this, because in some way, you want to improve yourself. I totally appreciate that attending live events may not by your thing, however, the path to change is action.

Ed’s kindly given me free tickets and I thought you might like one. I know when I attended, it expanded my mind no end and changed my life.

If you would like one of the free tickets I have, click the button to fill in the form  and we can start connecting those dots!
Yes, I want to come to Breakthrough!

The world needs love

Love, one pipecleaner heart at a time

The concept that “Belief in something doesn’t make that true” throws itself into sharp contrast for me this week. I held the belief that America would not elect a Klan-backed, lying, misogynistic, sex-offending bigot as president.

Civilisation very much feels like it’s turning itself inside out right now. I could take the focus that the world is going to hell in a hand basket, mutter to myself about it all being wrong and simply let it wash over me, but instead I choose to see this as the world having a healing crisis, where symptoms, such as bigotry, hatred, ignorance and even war get worse before healing ultimately happens. Taking this focus and meaning to the events means that I can take action. It means that I, and all the other people in the world that espouse love, equality and kindness are the cure.

I do not doubt that the vast majority of Americans are kind, they are known world over for their hospitality and generosity, so I’ve been reading frantically about why America might choose to elect Donald Trump, seeking understanding beyond the “news bubble” that I live in (mostly populated by “WTF?” type posts, but no real reasons) and come to understand that change and growth is something that deeply strikes against the belief system of the people that voted for Trump, and that the slogan “Make America Great Again” to them means harking back to a time where their known status (religion, skin colour, jobs, homes, family structures) in the world was certain. It means retaining a Status Quo that about half of the world is moving away from, dragging the other half (in some cases very) unwillingly behind it. And also, as the movement is due to various ideas working in opposing directions, it’s no wonder the world is so confused right now!

However, if you are here, you probably shared my now disproven belief, and are quite possibly feeling defeated. Right now, you might not have the strength for yet another fight, and that’s OK. Self Care is important. Do the self care that you need to get you ready to give the world the love it needs. Retreat, eat good food, watch Netflix, go for walks in the local park, love the people and pets around you and just be for a bit. The world will be here when you are ready to pick up again.

However, if you stay in your cave too long, this can be as detrimental as working from no resources, so, if you do find yourself feeling overwhelmed, as you know, I love using EFT as a pattern interrupter. I’ve used it successfully with clients to help them get to the roots of their issues as well as to enable their progress when they are stuck.

So when Brad Yates’ newsletter dropped this video into my inbox I felt that I needed to share his words and the accompanying video with you:
“I actually shot this video a few weeks ago – it wasn’t about the election, but about this feeling that many of us experience from time to time.  But it takes on a new timeliness now, as a lot of people are feeling this these days… totally understandable.  A large group of folks were going to feel this whichever way the election went.  Honor your feelings, and when you are ready to stand up, brush yourself off and get going again, I hope you will find this helpful.  We need you… :)”

NB: As I said before, if you have never viewed Brad’s Channel before, before you start tapping away, you must watch these two videos first – as Brad is very clear that you know what you are doing, and that you take full responsibility for your own well being.

There are of course other pattern interrupters and ways to enable progress, but this one is one of my favourite as it is so simple, and once you know how, you can do it autonomously either “free-form” or via one of the many many scripts on Youtube (in fact, some of the best results are when the words simply “fall out of your brain” rather than with scripts) and it gets fast results.

So, tell me how you are going to spread a little (or a lot of!) love to the world. Start small, create ripples! Leave me a comment below and then we can start working to connect your dots!

Catch you next time!

Image used LOVE by Lorie Shaull
Used Under Creative commons licence: Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

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Track your income to create more abundance

I’ve spoken before about “creating” wealth via simple money transfers; automating savings by scheduling transfers into dedicated money pots

Another way that you can create wealth and say “yes” to abundance by tracking the money and the value that comes into your life. My money mentor, Denise Duffield-Thomas has a fantastic blog about this- How to track your income to create more abundance – which also contains the resources that she provides her Lucky Bitch Money Bootcamp members to track income with.

I use the spreadsheet method, tracking the money and value that comes into my life. I feel that tracking value in particular makes one far more aware of just how generous the world around us is, and how much value we are given, as well as also how much we are willing to accept – an interesting and surreptitious money block that most women have.

When I joined the Lucky Bitch Money Bootcamp in 2014, I was a rather large amount more in debt than I am now, had an overdraft equivalent to a month’s salary and zero savings. I will be the first to admit that I’ve not worked through the whole course as yet, but tracking is one of the first things that you do – and by being aware of the value and the money that was entering my life, it really did allow me to see how abundant I actually was, and how being open to all the value flowing in, my sense of lack diminished.

One of the big things that happened for me about 2 months after I started tracking was the bank finally offering me a loan for both my overdraft amount and almost all of the money I had sitting on credit cards. Being able to re-leverage my debt, at a vastly reduced interest rate, gave me back more money to actually then bring the debt down faster, as well as removing all the bank fees I was seeing each month. Instant feeling of abundance!

I’d been checking for a loan every 3-6 months or so for the previous 3 years and being denied or offered a rate the same or worse than the one on my cards (Which given I had one sitting at 28.9%, was going some!). I like to believe that the universe could see that I was finally really getting my crap in order, and so gave me a helping hand.

So, have I inspired you? Take action today: Go read Denise’s blog, and commit to tracking your abundance for the next 30 days. Come back and leave me a comment below about how you are saying yes to abundance, then we can start working toward connecting those dots.

Catch you next time!

EFT – why you might want to think about giving it a whirl

EFT-WordCloud

I really like EFT ( Emotional Freedom Technique.) aka “Tapping”. It lives under the umbrella of “Energy Psychology” techniques, and it looks so dumb (especially when you are tapping under your arm and on the top of your head) that you may well feel that it’s a bunch of hooey – but what you can achieve with it really is awesome.

As you know, I’m all about the science, and most double blind reputable studies point to EFT simply using “The Power of the Placebo” to affect change in a person. Now, I’m 100% with Tim Minchin on science and “Alternative Medicine” (Homeopathic Sugar pills in particular), and that “Modern Medicine” is something that should always be matched and used appropriately to an individual’s health circumstances –  but I also feel that Placebology, where the patient affects their own change because they believe that the placebo they are using will change them for the better definitely has a place in the therapeutic process.

I feel it works because it allows a person to be 100% honest with themselves, as tapping out the various issues and free-flow verbalising around them will make us make intuitive perspective leaps that we could never make in a flat state with a conscious mind. When I tap on issues myself, I’m always surprised by something I say that “just falls out of my brain via my mouth” as I’m associating.

The Founder of EFT, Gary Craig, discovered that in persons with anxiety or fear, that by tapping on 9 specific meridian points and using a set of very specific “set-up phrases” and then talking honestly, openly, and usually in negatively phrased statements about issues through the tapping process, that the issues can be reduced to a place where they have little to no on-going effect, very quickly, and with much less stress to the patient than via traditional psychological methods . He believes that the tapping mechanisms of EFT operate in the same way as Acupuncture – activating specific meridian points stimulates them to assist the body in releasing the negative energy feedback loops to remove dis-ease.

There have been studies that show the tapping has a calming effect on the amygdala. I’m sure that you know by now that the amygdala gets activated either for pleasure in the now, or in an amygdala hijack, in a response to a perceived danger, either real or imaginary.

In a fear situation, the amygdala causes adrenaline and cortisol to be released to prepare our body for action (i.e. to fight or to run). Where a “potentially harmful” situation is perceived, the amygdala works with the  hippocampus to enforce its previously learned “stay safe” feed-back loop. For instance, if a person has been in a road accident, the experienced fear gets stored away and then every time a car journey is needed, anxiety levels irrationally increase.

During his development work, Gary discovered that EFT isn’t just for “fear calming” situations, it can be used on pretty much any occurring issue:

  • Personal Performance Boosters
    • Achieving personal and professional goals
    • Public speaking
    • Sports performance
    • Fat reduction & body composition
    • Job interviews
    • Self-confidence
  • Emotional Challenges
    • Stress
    • anxiety
    • phobias
    • Depression
    • feeling overwhelmed
    • Relationship issues
    • Insomnia
    • nightmares
    • Panic attacks
    • Sexual abuse
    • Obsessions
    • compulsions
    • Traumatic memories
    • Procrastination
    • Poor grades
    • Grief
    • loss
    • pet loss
    • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
    • Addictions
    • overeating
  • Physical Issues
    • Allergies
    • Migraines
    • Fatigue
    • Fibromyalgia
    • pain management

NB: While EFT has produced remarkable results for many people, it must still be considered to be in the experimental stage and people and the therapists that advise clients to use EFT must take complete responsibility for their own use of the technique. If you try it, give it a good go, and find that it doesn’t work for you, don’t sweat it. Just try another self help technique. Never let using EFT or any other self-help technique that I or anyone else might talk about get in the way of seeking professional medical help where required.

So, why am I particularly talking about EFT this week? Well, there’s been more ISIS terrorist activity in a few places around the world in the last few weeks (Baghdad, Ankara and Brussels) and so, in an effort to help us all combat Hate I wanted to share this Brad Yates Tapping video with you: Clearing Hatred – Tapping with Brad Yates

NB: if you have never viewed Brad’s Channel before, before you start tapping away, you must watch these two videos first – as Brad is very clear that you know what you are doing, and that you take full responsibility for your own well being.

I’m connecting my own dots on this one, as I’m currently training to be able to use EFT with you in our coaching practice. I first discovered EFT around 2000, and I’ve used it off and on since then (I’ll admit more off than on!).

I got sharply reminded about using it way more often, and in combination with Forgiveness work as part of my working through Denise Duffield Thomas’ Lucky Bitch Money BootCamp – and it’s now happily part of my daily routine again.

So, what are you going to try and use EFT on? My advice is to try it on everything :-). Pick a topic and drop me a comment below. Then we can start working to connect your dots!

Catch you next time!

Forgiveness – a powerful tool for mindset shift

forgive yourself

As I’m sure you can guess from what I’ve keep banging on about ( 🙂 ), a huge part of Self-Change is re-framing our Mindset and the decluttering process is not just about clearing physical space, it’s about mental decluttering also.

“Don’t let it rent your head” is something my Mum said to me a long time ago, and what’s happened to us in our past can very literally “hold us back” in that past and that story. When I spoke about simply observing feelings in the letting it go meditation, the emotions we feel are often driven by our stories, and the top tactic for dealing with the ones that linger is forgiveness.

Mental de-cluttering can be very difficult – Lifting the memories and beliefs that shaped our current thoughts into the light of objectivity, feeling them and then asking “Does holding onto this experience serve me and my higher good?” can be very hard indeed, as our amygdala is usually telling us (very loudly) that holding on to the memory and all that entails is the “safe” thing to do.

However, as Anaïs Nin said: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

Mental de-cluttering is something that we do again and again – yes, there are big pieces of the past that come up when we think about this the first time we do it, but mental decluttering and forgiveness is like an onion – it has layers. There is always more to de-clutter, always more to forgive, and we always feel better for working through the (very easy) process. After all, hanging on to the more toxic memories that drive our lives through pain, resentment or anger is like “eating poison and harming ourselves, yet expecting the other person to die.”

In the same way as when we physically de-clutter our stuff (and I recommend reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying: A simple, effective way to banish clutter forever by Marie Kondo – an excellent physical de-cluttering system ) we de-clutter memories and experiences by topic, with a focus on “Love”, “Money”, “Work”, “Siblings”,”Parents” or any other life topic that we feel is “renting our head” –  naturally there is always cross-over, but don’t let that stall you. If you don’t think a memory would fit in where you want to do the work right now, then leave it for later.

The actual process is easy – Allow yourself some time, pick your topic, grab pen and paper  (because writing activates both sides of the brain) and start writing out emotional memories on the chosen topic. Include anything that still has an emotional charge – anger, resentment, embarrassment, shame, etc and write a short paragraph on each memory as it comes up. Keep going until you can’t think of anything else, aiming for between 20-100 memories.

Don’t get stuck or over think it, you may end up with pages and pages, or just a few lines. The memories that are “missed” this time aren’t yet ready to be forgiven. Just like cleaning out the wardrobe usually takes more than one go, emotionally charged memories that are driving current behaviours often hide behind each other.

Once you have the list formed, and you are ready to start forgiving (It’s perfectly fine to write the list and then leave it to one side for a short while if you need to do so) read the first memory, then take a breath and say out loud “I forgive you, I’m sorry, thank you, I love you.” and then physically cross the memory out with your pen. Repeat the mantra for each item on the list, crossing them off until you reach then end. You can then discard the list in whatever way you see fit; rip it up, shred it, burn it or just chuck it in the recycling.

Why these words? Because they release you from carrying the emotions –  it’s not at all about the cause of the memory, be that a person, organisation or circumstance. And whilst remaining engaged in the exercise, you don’t even have to mean the words that you are saying all that much. Remember, the Limbic brain doesn’t have “words” it has “feels”

Energetically, “I forgive you” is acknowledging the memory and the emotion, “I’m Sorry” covers forgiving ourselves for carrying the emotion for so long and clears any residual entanglements around the event (It’s not about “apologising to the other person”, there is no condoning of past grievances or victim blaming here), “Thank you” is about appreciating the lesson it taught you, even if that lesson was hard to carry or had negative consequences at the time, and “I love you” seals the deal, wrapping up the experience and energies with love and releasing them.

You may well feel some resistance to doing this (I know I have in the past) because letting it go is very, very scary. However, know that doing forgiveness work on the past will change your future life, so leave me a comment about what you are forgiving, and we can start working on connecting those dots!

Catch you next time!

Image used, FORGIVE YOURSELF by miguel
Used Under Creative commons licence: Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Get stuff done – make your bed

Make your Bed

One of the little things that I ask of people that I coach and mentor is a very simple and mundane thing – I ask them to make their bed every day. It only takes  a minute to pull the duvet up, straighten the pillows and make sure it all looks good.

It really seems so silly, that such a small thing would have such a big impact, but it really does. Making this task automatic means that you achieve the first task of the day before you even leave your room, and by doing it, it sets the mind up to “do more” with the day. It also gives you a little lift when you see it later, especially if you come home after a crappy day.

This excerpt from the Austin 2014 Commencement Address, University of Texas by Admiral William H. McRaven has been animated and is doing the rounds on the internet lately, is all about this, and really sums it up perfectly:

Every morning in basic SEAL training, my instructors, who at the time were all Viet Nam veterans, would show up in my barracks room and the first thing they would inspect was your bed.

If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the rack (—rack— The Navy term for your bed.)

It was a simple task–mundane at best. But every morning we were required to make our bed to perfection. It seemed a little ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that were aspiring to be real warriors, tough battle hardened SEALs – but the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over.

If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another.

By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter.

If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.

And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made—that you made—and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.

If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.

If you want to watch the full speech, it’s on YouTube (And you should, it contains excellent life advice for us all, not just a bunch of going-to-be Navy SEALS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxBQLFLei70
And the full transcript: http://alcalde.texasexes.org/2014/05/mcraven-to-grads-to-change-the-world-start-by-making-your-bed/

Leave me a comment about how you are going to make making your bed an automatic practice, and then we can start working on connecting those dots!

Catch you next time!

Image used, Our new handmade bed! by Miss Yasmina
Used Under Creative commons licence: Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Be the change you want to see – it all starts with self

Practice Random Acts of Kindness

I’ve been wanting to get this post out of my head and through my fingers for a while – there is so much “ugly”/”bad”/”hate fuelled”/”selfish” behaviour in the world right now and the sheer amount of these behaviours around the world feels honestly overwhelming.

And I’m sure that you hate what’s going on in the world with a passion. I know that I do.

Right now, around the world, “bad” things are happening – Jewish Soldiers abusing Palestinians, ISIS Salafist Takfiri* abusing and terrorising their surrounding Muslim population and generally bombing around the world, Russia shelling and bombing Ukraine, the current UK government making economically bankrupt choices leading to massive inequality and deprivation.

That’s to name but a few things going on that make our world right now that make it seem so bleak and negative. So, how can we re-frame this into a more positive outlook?

I’ve come to think that “Hate” as a concept is actually a neutral thing; it can be an extremely potent force for Change. For instance, if one person hates something enough, they will be moved to make a Choice and Change that thing. It is the Choice that provides the positive or negative action, not the fact that Hate is the driving factor.

So, what can one person do against this seeming tide of relentless crap? Remember that we think of change in terms of the people that have driven it, “someone” took that first step.

All of these people were “just one person” when they started out on their path to affect big change (both good and bad): Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Aung San Suu Kyi, Malala Yousafzai, Adolf Hitler, Ian Duncan Smith, Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Robert Mugabe, Steve Jobs, Pol Pot, Ghengis Khan, Abraham Lincon, Lhamo Thondup (The 14th (and current) Dalai Lama), Adam Braun, Tony Robbins, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar.

The list goes on and on. History is littered with single people that made a difference. Sometimes the path chosen leads to massively bad things, more often than not however, it leads to great works of good. What’s to stop you from joining them?

Michael Jackson had the right idea… at least in his music. Jackson was well known for creating songs with conscience. “Man in the Mirror” (1987) and the later “Earth Song” (1995) are themes about Change on the grand scale having to start very small – with the Self.

Any and all Change has to start with the Self – Self is the only person that we can 100% effect. By an individual making a small change, and being an example, we can then affect others. The kicker there is that anyone we then interact has to then want to make a change in themselves.

If you are ready to make a change, you have to also realise that Fear of Change is a big factor for others. (Good Ol’ Amygdala!). But, to change the world, all any one person has to do is make a start and have the faith in themselves and in the Universe that the change is possible.

After all, what we want already exists (bear with me), but focus is needed to make it real.

This is all to do with Quantum Theory.

The three main Quantum Theory pillars, put very very simply, are based around the principles that

  • “At an atomic level, everything is energy”, (Quanta)
  • “Everything is connected” (Entanglement), and
  • “Something is only real when we choose to observe it” (“Superposition” and the “Observer Effect” – See the “Schrödinger’s Cat” thought experiment)

The Many-Worlds Interpretation of the consequences of Superposition states that “At any given moment in time, there are an infinite number of possibilities occurring, and that all of them already exist and are happening simultaneously. Each possibility happens in its own space and can’t be seen by others. We only see the possibility we focus on.”

So, if every possible version of every person exists somewhere, we simply choose to focus on the best possible versions of ourselves as what is real.  (For the Terry Prattchet Fans out there, he referred to this concept as “going down the other leg of the trousers of Time”)

But how, I hear you cry? It’s all very related to letting it go and also to resistance but the very first step is by being kind to ourselves.

I’ve spoken before about how we receive overwhelmingly negative messages about out bodies, our worth and our self from society and media and also in some cases from our parents and peers. We are told everyday that “life is hard and then you die”, “being fat is ugly”, “money doesn’t grow on trees”, “sex is evil”, “no-one will want you if you are …” etc etc.

Simply put, this messaging is not kind. It’s also not true, and as we internalise it, it keeps us trapped in a negative mindset, far less able to make any sort of change, let alone change for the better.

However, when we start being kind, firstly to ourselves and then to others, we open possibilities. It doesn’t have to be big: For ourselves, eating well and getting good sleep is a good start. Whilst in the wider world, small acts such as Holding open a door for the person following you, saying “thank you” to the bus driver, giving someone some small change in the supermarket check-out line when they are tuppence short.

These sorts of small and random acts of kindness ripple through the world. For instance, eating and sleeping well gives us the energy to make our day easier. Holding the door lowers the stress on the person following you, saying “thank you” makes the bus driver smile & giving pennies smooths out the buying process for everyone in the queue, de-stresses the person that was a touch short and also keeps the checkout person happy.

When change can start so small and be so simple, why would a person not choose to make the world a better place? That’s a huge philosophical question, but the TL;DR message is simple:
Be kind – Kindness to both self and others is the number one self-care act that will make the entire world a better place.

When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.
—The 14th Dalai Lama (1935)
Head Monk Of The Gelugpa Lineage Of Tibetan Buddhism

Leave me a comment about how you are going to make one small change for yourself that could grow to change the world. After all, once we know where we stand, we can start working on connecting those dots!

Catch you next time!

* (Takfiri – Arabic. Can be translated into English as “excommunicated.”  In Islamic law, takfir or takfeer (تكفير) refers to apostasy in Islam – The general consensus being among the leading Islamic Scholars is that ISIS are not following the Islamic faith at all.)

Image used, Practice Random Acts of Kindness by MarcieLew
Used Under Creative commons licence: Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)